Valentine’s Day is the designated push for sweethearts. It's a day for heart-shaped boxes, long-stemmed roses, and cute cards. Every February 14th, we flock to florists and chocolatiers like ducks to water in order to engage in what has become the almost ritualistic practice of honoring an individual (or individuals) we romantically admire. But what [...]
It is uncanny how many people I meet who had early childhood trauma. It’s not just patients in my office, it’s people I meet in casual conversation. I mention Jizo & Chibi, and the moment I start telling them about Chibi — the inner child, the infant self — they open up and tell me [...]
I learned another thing the hard way (is there really any other way?). When a broken bone is mending, there are times when it hurts, suddenly and badly, as part of the healing process. I was struck by the metaphor of how we cannot mend unless we face the painful things in our lives. This [...]
We are a tense gang, us Americans. Most of us are wound incredibly tight and we don’t even know it. We are driven, programmed from early on, to achieve success, happiness, and more success. When we don’t achieve this Utopia that we have been encouraged to seek, we struggle. We suffer. We brace against disappointment. [...]
This Sunday, we celebrated our first attachment figure: Mom. Like it or not, we internalized her since we were conceived. I remember a New Yorker cartoon depicting a new mother holding her baby while talking with a friend. The caption read, “I know the voice she hears in her head at my age will be [...]
