Binge Buddies? Fat Serenity? Fear of intimacy?
Do married couples eat more? The research says yes, which is all the more reason to practice mindful eating, get to know Jizo and stay grounded because, for most of us, intimacy is not what we bargained for.
The first year of wild love, you cannot eat, cannot sleep, cannot wait to tear each others’ clothes off and make love in various rooms. That’s why they call it “falling” in love. Staying in love is an entirely different matter.
Maybe after great lovemaking, instead of spooning each other and speaking together, you eat together, feed each other ice cream, strawberries, whatever. Eventually, for many, the lovemaking slows down, but the eating together doesn’t. It can become a sort of substitute for sex — just eat and snuggle. It was nice while it lasted. Bed Death is what some folks call it. Whatever you call it, it’s sad and it’s lonely and for many people, it’s the norm.
A few years into their relationship, researchers are finding that 60% of couples get fatter and fatter together. One study in the UK found that couples gained an average of 28 lbs in the first five years.
More than 60% of people put on weight when they are in a comfortable relationship, other new research suggests.
Some 62% of people admit gaining up to ten pounds since being in a relationship, while 72 per cent also think their partner has put on weight.
These results should be of little surprise, as 52% of women say they often eat the same amount as their male partner, and 56% admit this means they eat much larger portions than they would normally.
So what to do?
Regression into an infantile state is nothing anyone is talking about, at least not that I can find. In a search for answers for this piece, I found mostly guidance that insisted couples be on the same religious or spiritual path.
That’s not in the cards for a lot of folks.
Instead, the next time you are craving junk, consider: would a kiss suffice? Wonder to yourself, when was the last time you made out with your partner as if it were the first three months? Pause before taking the compulsive food and turn your attention to your love – for yourself and your partner. It may be less grounding, more anxiety-producing, but that’s what mindfulness is for, that’s what Jizo’s grounding influence is for: to hold us safely in the vulnerable places.
…until next time: sit still.