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Getting Grounded in High Conflict: Being Right by Being Wrong

In compassionate meditation, I face my inner conflicts.  In my relationships, those conflicts come to life when I feel threatened that I am at risk of losing something, being wrong, getting called out. Collaborative couples therapy is about teaching people to communicate by engaging without 1) attacking; 2) defending; or 3) withdrawing.  This is not [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:42-07:30 May 24th, 2013|Therapy, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Mistake After Mistake After Mistake…

Here’s the Zen Joke.  I wrote a great piece, which was not the piece I meant to write, and I SO enjoyed writing it… and then my computer went ka-blooey and a little Apple Pinwheel spun around and around and everything froze.  I had to force-quit without saving the piece.  So, all I have is [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:43-07:30 May 16th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Upon Enlightenment Every Human Becomes Wonderful

This was supposed to be a blog about Suzuki Roshi’s quote about making mistake after mistake after mistake.  As often happens, wonderful mistakes occur when I search the Internet.  First, I found this — a quote from Winston Churchill, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” He was a Zen Master. And [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:45-07:30 April 30th, 2013|Buddhism, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Jizo Therapy: Visit with a Craving

In my understanding of Buddhism, hell is being stuck in a state of desire, of craving, of wanting anything other than what is right here, right now.  Jizo is the bodhisattva whose role it is to help us out of these realms, making a vow to evolve to a higher state. […]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:46-07:30 April 29th, 2013|Buddhism, Meditation, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Did You Quit Meditating… Again?

I know you have heard that we meditate to improve cognitive functioning, to bring peace, to cope with anxiety, and for myriad other reasons — just fill in the blanks.  Bottom line: the consensus is that meditating is good for you.  Kind of like broccoli. And yet, most of us quit. Eventually. And still, many [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:48-07:30 April 16th, 2013|Meditation, Uncategorized|4 Comments

The Sweating Jizo

I was fortunate enough to find this picture of Jizo online at one of my favorite Buddhist sites, www.onmarkproductions.com, where much rich information is available. As you already likely know, Jizo has many manifestations throughout Japan.  He is best known as the protector of children, women and travelers.  He is also known as the Bosatsu [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:53-07:30 February 22nd, 2013|All, Buddhism, Statues, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Asking for Help, Finding Your Center

We seem to be the nation of the independent personality disorder.  We want to do things Our Way. Asking for help is a sign of weakness, rather one of a collaborative spirit. But sometimes a quick call for help is all we need. I have the good fortune of having a 24/7 confidential voice mailbox.  [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:55-07:30 February 14th, 2013|All, Uncategorized|2 Comments

The Busted Toe Diaries: Pausing and Still Getting “There”

Inventor Charles F. Kettering once said, “You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.” Going Somewhere is something I really like. Going there fast? Even better. I used to joke that my middle [...]

By | 2019-01-23T15:32:55-07:30 February 7th, 2013|Buddhism, Uncategorized|1 Comment