I have a theory about intimate relationships that is not very popular. I think they often bring out the darkest, worst parts of ourselves. It is as if a ghost child, comprised of both partner’s inner kids, grows up between them. Not everyone encounters this, but many do, and statistics report that couples get to [...]
I taught psychological theory in a graduate program for a dozen years. Every time I taught a theory, I learned more than I had known previously. My introductory lecture was Freud & Jung. Every quarter, I became more acutely aware of the mechanisms of the ego, a sadly misunderstood part of us that is the [...]
Today in my meditation, I was gazing at my Jizo and he was gazing back. The thought drifted through my mind that money is not money. Money is not money. Money is not money. It flowed through my mind, once, twice… I took a deep breath and as I exhaled, I heard Money is Perceived [...]
If we could be still, in a quiet place, for even three minutes each morning, we might begin to hear our innermost selves. These states of being live beneath the mask/persona we have developed in order to be loved. We wear a psychological suit, unconsciously, in order to be accepted by those around us. [...]
Do you ever wonder who you might be today if, when you were very young, the adults around you had encouraged you to be authentic with them and yourself? What would life be like if had been acceptable to feel anxious, or cry because we felt we needed to, no matter how annoyed our parents were? [...]
This took me a long, long, long time to learn and will surely take only a moment to say here. Tension causes a huge number of physical ailments and confronting yucky feelings can help release tension. How do we do that? The mind wants a quick trick, a fast way to be better. But this [...]
A dear friend asked me about social anxiety today and as I wrote back, I thanked her for giving me my next blog: Social anxiety is so sad. I have had it, too, at times. I remember a time when I felt I literally had grown three dress sizes in an hour. I felt so [...]
Letting go, detaching, is powerful medicine. Let me start by saying, I did not invent this letter. I have taught it to hundreds of people who have never learned how to structure letting go so that it works for them. […]
Today in yoga I became deeply aware of the dance of tension between my mind and body. I am only learning this lesson because I have to. After many experiences with somatic therapies, letting my body speak volumes about my life, my feelings, my experiences, I got it, in real time, that anger and hatred [...]
For me, the wisdom to know what is and what is not acceptable has been one of my greatest challenges. I cannot force solutions. I can speak up for myself. I can have boundaries. There IS unacceptable behavior. The big picture is remembering that when I sit back and don’t force things, when I wait [...]
